


It's Hard to Say

by ignemferam



Category: Stargate Atlantis, Stargate SG-1
Genre: Community: 1_million_words, Established Relationship, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-10
Updated: 2013-03-09
Packaged: 2017-12-04 20:11:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 600
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/714603
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ignemferam/pseuds/ignemferam
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When you wronged someone you love, how do you begin to apologize?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Let Me Apologize

**Author's Note:**

> **Disclaimer:** The characters are not mine, no matter how much I want them to be.
> 
> **Author's Notes:**  
>  \- Un-beta'd.  
> \- All feedbacks are loved.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He only wants to say he's sorry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Prompt:** **1-million-words** ' Word of the Day: _Reconcile_

At the open door, Cam's smile drops so fast John can hear the muscle tightens. Scrutinizing eyes rake John over.

"Hey." Thinking over a million times, John still doesn't know what to say, how to apologize.

Shifting his weight, he notices Cam's shoulder pulling back fraction of an inch, and blurts out, "Please."

Cam freezes.

"I deserve having the door shut in my face. I just... I'm sorry."

It's too little, too late. John knows it. Reconciling their relationship seems more a distant dream than before, now that he's here at Cam's door.

Cam steps aside and lets him in.


	2. Seeking Redemption

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Right then John learns what it feels like to have his heart ripped from his chest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Prompt:** **1-million-words** ' Weekend Challenge: Three Things. 1) [Twilight](http://i1340.photobucket.com/albums/o736/ixseven/postings/twilight.jpg); 2) In a house; 3) Sorry.

Slightly stunted, John hurriedly walks past his host into the house, fearing Cam may slam the door shut in a change of mind. Maybe Cam pities John for coming all the way to see him, or maybe John does have a chance. However slim the chance or whatever the reason, John will take it.

Except he still has no idea where to begin.

So he pauses and waits to be led into the living room. Cam promptly leaves for what John believes is the kitchen. He stays standing, even after accepting a cold beer from Cam upon his reentering the room. A long moment after Cam's sat down, John joins him on the couch a fraction of inch out of reaching distance.

In this twilight hour, the warm interior lighting and the sunset filtering through the full-length window, cast the room in an eerie haze of purple. Nerves make John look anywhere but at Cam.

This evening may be John's first time in the house but the décor feels oddly familiar. It isn't the southern farmhouse coziness anyone would normally relate with Cam, though its strong influence cannot be denied. Then it hits John. This is what they've talked about, infusing city chic with homey comfort. It's the two of them, blending into one.

Turning his head, John finally chances to lay eyes on Cam since entering the house. However Cam's studying the beer in his hand like a religious relic, while the condensation from the humid Florida air is dripping down the bottle into the carpet.

Knowing he isn't the only nervous one in the room is a bizarre relief.

In all honesty, John has no idea what this trip may bring. He can't decide whether he deserves a second chance if their places are switched. But no matter deserving or not, he still wants it. He can say it's because he's still in love with Cam, or they've had years of history and they shouldn't give up so easily. The most important reason though, is John knows Cam is the best thing that's ever happened to him and he isn't going to let Cam slip through his grasp. Not without a fight.

"I'm sorry, Cam. I--"

"I can't..." John's screaming inside, hoping Cam will look up at him. But Cam's head remains bowed. "I can't forget what you've done. I want to, but can't."

He's heard about it, but right then John learns what it feels like to have his heart ripped from his chest. At that moment, all he wants is to get up, run out of the house and never stop until exhaustion pulls him under.

"But giving up on us is the last thing I want to do. I need time, John."

Hearing those unexpected words, John can only stare at Cam's eyes as he finally looks up.

"Maybe one day, I can forgive you and we can move past this. Can we try?"

Second chances, John finds out, sort of resemble a two-way street.


End file.
